


Valentine's Day Massacred

by Pastaaddict



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: All kinds of awkwardness, M/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Screwed up magic, World Meeting (Hetalia), under the same name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 01:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16171208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastaaddict/pseuds/Pastaaddict
Summary: Germany is called unromantic after naming Valentine's Day as the next date for the World Meeting so he arranges a date for himself and Italy but a wayward spell throws his plans into disarray.





	1. Okay! This Is Awkward!

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to leave this until Valentine's Day but I wanted to post something so here we go …...
> 
> I don't own Hetalia!

 

**_**Okay! This Is Awkward!** _ **

  


"Great, West!" Prussia snorted. "Of all the days for a World Meeting, you had to unawesomely pick Valentine's Day!"

This was just one in a long list of complaints since the date for the next World Meeting was revealed. No one was happy and Germany had been called everything from a wanker, to an idiot, to a bastard (that was Romano but Germany could not tell if he was upset about the date or just being his usual charming self).

"I apologise," Germany replied. "I forgot what 14th February was!"

"That's because you don't have a romantic bone in your body, West."

"Why do you care?" Germany commented. "You're not even part of the meetings, you just crash them for your own amusement."

"Canada is a part of them," the albino ex-nation pointed out. "Me and Birdie had plans for Valentine's Day and you've just screwed them up!" Germany sighed. He had had the same complaint from everyone. As England was the host nation, he was going to surprise America with a boat ride on the Thames and then dinner at one of the restaurants, followed by a show in the West End. The boat ride was out and they would be cutting it fine to make the dinner reservation, making England a very unhappy bunny.

Many had similar complaints. Prussia and Canada had plans to spent time in Hyde Park before going for 'Pub Grub' and then to the cinema to see whatever film they could agree on. They were going to have to revise those plans now and Prussia was really giving the blonde German nation grief over it.

"I'm sorry, Bruder," Germany said, again. "I can only apologise so many times."

"I suppose you can't help being so unawesomely unromantic," Prussia huffed, knowing that complaining further would change nothing.

"I can be romantic!" Germany protested.

"Oh, come on, West!" Prussia replied. "Italy's the one who always decides what you do on your dates. He's the romantic!"

"I did organise a Valentine's Day date once!"

"Ja," Prussia snickered. "I heard about that. Italy freaked out!" Germany did not need reminding about that disastrous attempt.

"That was just a misunderstanding," he said. "I'll organise Valentine's Day this year and Italy will have a good time!"

"I'll believe it when I see it!"

* * *

_Valentine's Day morning …._

Prussia woke up on Valentine's Day with a raging hangover. Everyone had gone out the night before (except Germany. He was busy getting ready for the meeting) and Prussia, Denmark and America had managed to get Italy to join them and they all got plastered. If Germany found out he had gotten Italy drunk, Germany would kill Prussia.

Wallowing in his self-inflicted agony, Prussia did not notice at first that he was not alone. It was only when he heard a light snore that he turned and looked into his sleeping brother's face. What was he doing in the same bed as Germany? And where was Italy? Just how much had he drunk last night that would have him crawling into the wrong bed? And the wrong hotel room too. He also realised he was not wearing anything. Gott! How whammed had he been? He had to get out of here before Germany woke up. His head was in no condition for one of Germany's lectures.

Holding his head, he eased his legs over the edge of the bed. It hurt to even open his eyes but he did and spotted a pair of underpants on the floor. He picked them up and then closed his eyes again against the pain the light was causing. By touch alone, he managed to put his feet in the relevant holes and, slowly standing up, pulled them on. He managed to get out of the room without waking Germany (or so he thought) and went into the adjoining bathroom, hoping a shower might help his hangover. Afterwards, he would go and find a beer and have some hair of the dog. He undressed and stepped into the shower, feeling the warm water cascade over him as he raised his head to feel the water fall on his face. That was when he felt someone wrap their arms around his waist and kiss his neck. Who on earth...?

When he turned and saw who it was, he screamed!

* * *

Italy could not remember the last time he had a hangover and he wished he did not have one now. Even his hair hurt and he squeezed his eyes tight shut against a wave of nausea that swept over him and he swallowed rapidly to prevent his stomach from rising into his throat. When it passed, he realised two things.

One, he was dressed in underwear he did not recognise. He never wore anything in bed.

Two, he was alone. Where was Germany?

He opened his eyes and did not recognise his surroundings at first, then he realised it was an hotel room and then he saw various items of clothing scattered around the room but they were not his. Then he saw Gilbird sitting on top of his cage, asleep. What was he doing in Prussia's room? And where was Prussia?

Italy practically fell out of Prussia's bed and almost crawled out the door, remembering to pick up the spare room key to his and Germany's room that Germany had given Prussia _(boy, did Germany regret that!)._ When he made it to the door, he managed to achieve an almost full upright position, went to the door of his own room and went in.

That was when he heard a scream from the bathroom and he walked in and asked, sounding strange to his own ears, "Ve~ What's wrong?"

And all hell broke loose.

* * *

_World Meeting ….._

"If you don't try to grope me," England warned France. "I won't try to strangle you. I want to get through this meeting as fast as possible, America and I have plans!"

"We all do, Angleterre," France replied. "I'm the Country of Love. Of course, I would have plans for today. I have two belles waiting for me and ….. "

"Spare me the details, Frog," England interrupted. "Just leave me alone and maybe we'll get out of here sooner."

Everyone was making deals to get along and get out in time to salvage something of their Valentine's Day plans so it looked like this meeting might be trouble-free for a change..... What was that about speaking too soon?

"Germany and Italy's late," England commented, when they still had not turned up ten minutes after the meeting was due to start. "The Nordics are missing too."

"Yeah! Where are those dudes?" America pondered. His question was soon answered when Germany, Italy and Prussia came through the doors and everyone knew immediately that something was a bit off. Italy had a cocky smirk on his face and Prussia was wrapped around a red-faced Germany's arm. With a arrogant stride, Italy walked over to someone nobody had noticed was in the room, took Canada's face in both hands and firmly and thoroughly kissed him. Canada's eyes went wide and his arms began flapping. What was Italy doing? Both their boyfriends were in the room, for heaven's sake.

Everyone's jaw dropped. Hungary produced a camera and managed to get a couple of photos before she fainted with a nose bleed. Japan managed not to faint but a red fountain gushed from his nose as he snapped away. Everyone expected to hear Germany and Prussia to start yelling but, instead, Germany was face-palming and Prussia had a soppy look on his face. When the kiss ended, Italy looked into Canada's eyes with an arrogant grin.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Birdie," he said, in a German accent. Canada stared at what looked like the North Italian nation but somehow he knew the reality.

"Prussia!" he gasped. He looked over at the Prussia who was holding Germany's arm.

"Veee~" Prussia gushed. The room went completely silent

* * *

_Earlier …._

Germany had woken up just as Italy sneaked into the bathroom and Germany smiled and got up to surprise him. He watched his little Italian undress and climb into the shower and just stand in the waterfall of warm water for a moment and then he undressed and went into the shower behind Italy. He would show Prussia romantic.

He came up behind Italy and wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his shoulder where it met his neck. Italy turned and, when he saw Germany, he screamed, surprisingly like Prussia.

"Ve~, What's wrong?" Prussia's voice said in an Italian accent from the door. Italy and Prussia took one look at each other.

And they both screamed.

* * *

_Back to the meeting …._

"What the hell ….. ?" America was the first to recover his voice after the spectacle of seeing his twin getting soundly snogged by Italy. "Is that …. ?" He pointed at Italy. "And that …. ?" pointing at Prussia. "What the hell's going on?"

"That's what I want to find out," Germany replied. It had taken some time for the three of them to get over the embarrassment of the morning incident. Italy had cried for a full hour, thinking Germany was cheating on him with some kind of incestuous affair with his own brother and it had taken some time for Germany to explain that he thought that Prussia was him, as if the fact that Italy and Prussia had swapped bodies was not a big enough clue. There was still something of an awkwardness and Germany could not look Prussia? Italy? in the eye. "If I didn't know better, I'd say someone's magic had gone wrong again." Everyone turned to England with Germany glaring at him. If he was responsible for this, Germany was ready to perform a public execution.

"Why are all you gits looking at me?" Britain demanded with a teacup halfway to his mouth.

"Weeelllll," America replied. "You do have form for screwing up, magically."

"FYI," England fumed and took a sip of his tea. "I haven't performed any magic for over a month so you wankers will just have to find someone else to blame."

"I'm afraid that would be me," came Norway's voice from the door. Everyone turned to see the Nordics at the door but, once again, something was off.

Denmark was stood next to a very uncomfortable-looking Finland, with an emotionless face and his hair was flat. His normal expressive and laughing eyes were stern and piercing. His hand was resting on Finland's shoulder who's facial expression said, _Holy Martin Luther, he's scary!_

Sweden was not wearing his glasses, his hair was stuck up and spiky and his eyes were full of emotion, right now the emotion was 'annoyed' and he was wearing Denmark's strange little hat on his head. He kept trying to put his arm around Norway and Norway was shrugging him off and looking like he was resisting the urge to strangle Sweden while Iceland stood to the side, trying not to wet himself laughing.

"What happened, Norway?" Britain asked. "It's not like you to mess up your spells."

"I didn't exactly 'mess up' as you put it," Norway replied. "It started last night ……"

* * *

_The night before …._

Why had Norway let Denmark talk him into going to a pub? He just knew Denmark would start acting stupid, especially when the alcohol started flowing. And there he went, right on cue! Several nations were in the pub they went to and they met up with Denmark's drinking buddies, Prussia and America, the so-called _Awesome Trio._ Prussia had dragged along Italy and the small nation was already half-cut.

"Germany won't like you getting Italy drunk," Norway warned. "Perhaps he should stop drinking now."

"Ahhh! Come on, Norge," Denmark replied. "Let the guy have some fun!"

"Ja!" Prussia agreed. "He needs a good time, now and then, living with mein bruder. Training this, strategy that, don't draw on my tanks, stop running away. I'm going to show Italy a fun time."

"I'll come to your funeral when Germany kills you," Norway promised.

"That dude's waaay too anal," America commented. "He needs to lighten up

As the night wore on, the Awesome Trio and Italy got more and more wasted and Denmark got more and more annoying. Sometimes Norway loved Denmark's antics (although Norway would never admit it out loud) and sometimes they just irritated the crap out of him.

Like now.

Then Sweden came in with Finland. The two of them just came in for a quiet drink before going back to their hotel for the evening, ready for the meeting next morning. Denmark wandered over to them and dragged them into the drunken group, much to Sweden's annoyance. Denmark was one of the few people that could get Sweden to show emotion. Unfortunately, most of the time that emotion was _pissed off!_

"Yes, everybody knows I'm the King of Scandinavia," Denmark said, a little too loudly for Norway's liking, considering there were ordinary humans about.

"News ta me," Sweden replied. "If ya goin' ta t'lk n'nsense, w'it til ya asl'ep."

"I am the King," Denmark slurred. "Admit it!"

"Nej, _(no_ ) _"_ Sweden replied.

"Admit it!"

"N'ver!"

Denmark lurched at Sweden to grab him in a headlock which Sweden dodged and reversed and now Denmark was struggling in Sweden's grip and, as they staggered around, they bumped into Norway, causing him to spill his drink down his shirt. Norway had had enough of this idiocy. He was going to make these two morons play nice and he had just the spell. He muttered the ancient Norse phrases, now he just had to sit back and let the spell to its job. It would take effect when they slept but Norway had not realised that when he cast the spell, Prussia and Italy were sat together, barely conscious, behind the two fighting Nordics.

Or the effect it would have.

* * *

_Back to the meeting ….._

Prussia vaguely remember the fight but Italy had been so far gone he did not remember anything.

"I cast the mind swap spell to get these two idiots to stop fighting," Norway finished. "Chances are I caught Italy and Prussia with it as well."

"Can you change them back?" Germany asked. He had made plans for himself and Italy for today and this would put a serious crimp on them.

"Not with this spell," Norway admitted. "It's a short term spell so an anti-spell was never created. We just have to let it run its course." Prussia/Italy smirked, knowing just what was running through his bruder's mind.

"Well, I don't mind," he said, hugging Canada to his side. "Whatever body I'm in, I'm still awesome!" Canada, however, looked very unsure about it all. Germany looked down at Italy/Prussia holding on to his arm and he all could think about was the plans he had made and now he had to woo his Italian boyfriend who was trapped in the body of his own bruder.

Awkward did not even begin to cover it!

 

 

 


	2. And this Is An Awkward Date!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkwardness abounds....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! When dealing with the swapped nations, it's mind first , body second so Italy/Prussia is Italy in Prussia's body. Just to avoid confusion.

 

** _**And This Is An Awkward Date!** _ **

  
  


Denmark in Sweden's body strolled forward, clapping his hands together.

"Let's get this meeting over and done with," he said and walked into a chair. A ghost of a smirk graced Sweden/Denmark's face.

"Denmark, wear Sweden's glasses, for heaven's sake!" Norway ordered, exasperatedly.

"No way!" Denmark/Sweden replied, sitting in the chair he had almost fallen over. "Awesome people don't wear glasses!"

"Hey!" America yelled, insulted.

"J'st don't dam'ge ma body!" Sweden/Denmark warned. "Or I'll do th' same ta y'urs!"

"Exactly how does this stop them fighting?" England asked, seeing the two were as ready to start scraping as ever.

"They can insult each other all they like," Norway replied. "But they can't fight without harming their own bodies." England nodded at the sense that made.

"Can we get this show on the road?" Prussia/Italy demanded. "Me and Birdie have a date we want to get to!"

"Maple!" Canada muttered.

"Ve~ Me and Germany have a date too," Italy/Prussia replied. "Germany won't tell what we're doing. It's a surprise!" Germany facepalmed again.

'Keseseseses' sounded strange in Italy's voice.

* * *

Because of the deals everyone made (and Germany had cut out any low priority issues so it would not take as long. They would cover them in the next meeting) things did not take as long and fighting was avoided, although a few odds looks were cast at Prussia/Italy, Italy/Prussia, Sweden/Denmark and Denmark/Sweden. At the end of a gratefully short meeting, everyone gathered their things and left, pairing off as they did so. Sweden/Denmark put his arm around a rather disturbed Finland and ushered him out. Denmark/Sweden followed and walked into the door surround.

"For the last time, Denmark," Norway huffed, holding out Sweden's glasses. "Put these on!"

"I'm fine, Norge," Denmark/Sweden insisted and went out the door. When it shut, there was a crash and a yelp.

"Idiot!" Norway muttered and went out of the door. The only people left in the room were Germany, Italy/Prussia, Canada and a smirking Prussia/Italy who wrapped his arm around an uncomfortable Canada.

"Have fun on your date, bruder!" he almost laughed. He tried to imagine Germany having a romantic date with Italy while Italy was stuck in his body. It made for endless mental amusement and he chuckled as he half-dragged Canada out of the room.

"So where are we going, Germany?" Italy/Prussia asked. All Germany could hear was his bruder's Italian accented voice and he facepalmed again.

* * *

The first part of the date was a meal at an Italian restaurant. Germany had searched for one with a good rating and found one near the London Eye and all eyes turned in the direction of the tall, blonde man with what seemed like an excitable albino Italian who were led to their table. The waiter requested their drinks order and Italy/Prussia ask for a glass of the restaurant's finest Italian wine while Germany requested a beer. The waiter left them to study the menus while he went to get their drinks.

"Grazie, Germany," Prussia's face with Italy's happy expression smiled at him. He knew Germany preferred wurst to pasta so that he would go to this effort to find an Italian restaurant just for him, Italy/Prussia was touched.

"You're welcome, Prus …. Italy," Germany replied. Wonderful! He did not what to call him now. This was going to be a long day.

The waiter returned with their drinks and they ordered their meals. Germany drank his beer and Italy/Prussia sipped his wine. Silence reigned for a while and Italy/Prussia smiled nervously at Germany and Germany cleared his throat as if to say something but did not know what. It was all very awkward.

"Italy," Germany began after making sure he was saying the right name. "I know this is all a bit strange but, until you and Prussia change back, we'll just try to carry on as normal and enjoy today, all right?"

"Oki doki!" Italy/Prussia replied, putting his hand down on Germany's and giving it a squeeze. Germany pulled his hand away like he had been had just been burned and Italy/Prussia looked hurt. Germany felt guilty. He knew it was Italy taking his hand but all he could see was Prussia and that was just  _ weird!  _ Before he could apologise, their food arrived and, apart from the odd comment, they ate in silence.

* * *

When they left the restaurant, they strolled beside the Thames as the boats chugged up and down the water.

"I'm sorry, Italy," Germany apologised. "I'm having a hard time getting past your ….. appearance. I'll try to do better."

"That's all right, Germany," Italy/Prussia replied, taking hold of Germany's arm and hugging it. Germany fought the urge to pull away as he had to remember that this was his boyfriend and he had promised him a romantic date and that's what he would give him. Even if he was in his brother's body.

Germany's head hurt.

* * *

Across town, Canada was having similar problems.

He knew he was walking beside his boyfriend, Prussia but, when he looked at him, he saw Italy. How can he enjoy a romantic date like this?

"Come on, Birdie," Prussia/Italy said, taking Canada's hand and pulling him along through Hyde Park. They found themselves at the bird sanctuary.

"I should have brought Gilbird," Prussia/Italy remarked as they watched the birds drifted by on the water. "He'd have loved this." Canada was struggling with separating Prussia from Italy when he was hearing the Prussian accent in Italy's voice. Prussia/Italy turned to Canada.

"I know this is weird, Birdie," he said. "But I'm still the Awesome Me. Let's just enjoy today as much as we can and, when I back to normal, we can do something else. Okay?" Canada gave a smile.

"Okay! He replied. Prussia/Italy grabbed his hand and took off again. "Let's go get some food!" From that point on, their date went a lot more smoothly that Germany's

* * *

As the sun began to set, Germany's next step was to take Italy/Prussia on the London Eye. It was suppose to be a romantic scene to share with him, now it was just strange. As their pod rose slowly into the sky, Italy/Prussia cuddled against Germany while Germany closed his eyes and tried to pretend he looked like Italy. As they rose to the top, all of London and beyond lay before them and, to the west, was the most magnificent sunset Italy/Prussia had ever seen. The burst of oranges, yellows, pinks and purples were worthy of a painting.

"Vee~," Italy/Prussia sighed. "It's so beautiful, Germany. Thank you." He reached up to kiss Germany's lips but Germany moved his head and Italy/Prussia ended up kissing his cheek instead.

Germany hated the hint of sadness in Italy/Prussia's eyes. He had done it again, hurt his boyfriend because of his inability to see beneath the surface. This Valentine's Day was turning out as bad as the last one. Would he ever get this romance stuff right?

* * *

He had one last chance to redeem himself. He had taken a leaf out of England's book and took Italy/Prussia on a boat ride up the Thames to see the buildings and bridges lit up under the night sky. The boat they were on passed under Tower Bridge and was heading for Westminster Bridge, passing under several others before getting there. Westminster was a real sight, lit up and the clock shining like the moon in all four directions. The clock began to chime, indicating it was ten o'clock and Big Ben began to toll the hour. When the tenth chime finished and the bell fell silent, Italy/Prussia looked down, sadly at the water.

"What's wrong, Italy?" Germany asked. Italy/Prussia sighed.

"It's Valentine's Day, Germany," he replied, sadly. "And you haven't kissed me! Not once!"

Germany looked really uncomfortable now but he should have realised this would be coming. Italy was a hugger. And a kisser. And, of course he would want both, today of all days. But he still looked like Prussia.

"Italy," he said. "I don't know if I can …... "

"Please, Germany," Italy/Prussia begged. "Please! Just one kiss!" Germany sighed as he knew it would break Italy's heart if he said no! Perhaps if he closed his eyes and convince himself that it was Italy's body then maybe! Just maybe! He looked around the boat and found that their area was deserted. He turned to Italy/Prussia and put his hands on Italy/Prussia's shoulders and closed his eyes.

He pictured Italy in his mind. The auburn hair with the springy, left curl, the beautiful amber eyes and his happy expression. The image grew in Germany's mind until it felt real and Germany moved forward to place his lips on Italy's. Closer …..closer.....closer.....

"Bruder, what are you doing?" Prussia's voice had regained its German accent. Oh yes! Norway had mentioned that the spell was short-term and Prussia was going to have fun with this for ages.

Germany decided that he hated Valentine's Day!

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prussia's not going to let Germany forget that in a hurry.

**Author's Note:**

> Keyword of this story : AWKWARD!


End file.
